Why do some people feel lost in life?
(Disclaimer: I don’t give any true answers to this issue. Just a perspective)
I’ve wondered this myself every now and then. I wonder does everyone feel lost at some point in their lives. Do people think they are falling behind everyone else? We can see people from our school or workplace who seem to be progressing through life at a certain pace — getting married, having babies, getting a mortgage, buying a new car, traveling abroad for work or pleasure for months on end. We may feel like we are living our life at snail’s pace. I know I have felt a sense of insecurity when I think about my friends moving on in their lives. Parents can pressure us to a certain extent also. Wondering whether we will meet our future partner and settle down.
I always feel like a laid-back person who doesn’t take life seriously at all. What is the line between being laid-back and being outright sedentary? It would be different from person to person. Some people are quite content to live a simple life and never want any more than what’s laid in front of them. Over the past 5 years, I’ve been reading about Zen Buddhism. Mostly from Alan Watts “Way of Zen” philosophy but from other sources including documentaries. What I’ve learned is there are people in the world who have dedicated their lives to “going inward”. Tibetan gurus are taught from a young age how to conquer their mind. To sit in stillness and solitude and focus on their breath for months on end. It can be tortuous for the best of people. In the end, however, they come out of it with a great understanding of themselves and life. We can learn a lot from these gurus on how to be completely present in what is happening in our lives at each moment.
I have used meditation when I feel lost or I need more focus in my life. I don’t embrace it as part of my life however — which is my undoing. I believe it can work for everyone with huge benefits to mental and, in turn, physical health. The power of focusing on a single thing, in this case your breath, can be very transformative. It sounds like I’m pitching this idea of meditation as if it’ll cure all those feelings of being lost. However, so long as such motivations and considerations exist you are not meditating. It must be a way a life. Not something you do like practicing music or sport. Meditation has no purpose, a bit like listening to music. You are simply an observer of the goings-on around you and the goings-on within you which, according to Alan Watts and Zen Buddhism, are one in the same. Only by being in the present can we be in Zen. Not worrying about the future or regretting the past.
The feeling of being lost isn’t the worst thing to happen anyone. It’s a chance for growth. I do feel that everyone can feel somewhat lost or unsure at different stages in their lives. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or in 50 years. Feeling lost can be a sign that we might not be happy in our current situation. But it’s all about perspective. And we can gain that extra perspective by looking inward and being present.
